1. Training Potty Inventor: Although the idea of having a tiny potty is great for tiny people, there's a major flaw: some poor, big person has to clean it up every time. Trust me, if you don't clean it each and every time, you will suffer the stinky consequences. Plus, the tiny potty has tons of tiny little places where tee-tee can hide.
2. Ice Cream Manufacturers: First of all, congratulations on making a damn fine
product. Ice cream might just be heaven on earth. The only mistake seems to be in the nutritional information typed on the back of your containers. It must be a typo because it says that the tub has 12 servings. Weird. I only had it for 5 nights, and it was empty. Clearly, my tub was mis-marked.
3. Andrew, dear sweet Andrew...- First, you are not nearly as accurate peeing standing up as you think you are. Trust me, I have had to wash the bathmats too frequently to think otherwise.
- Next, you can tell me "Trust me, mommy", but that won't get you what you want. For instance, when I say no to your pleas for more cookies, you saying, "trust me, mommy, I just need two more" won't result in more cookies. Trust me, Andrew, that won't work.
- Your are also wrong when you tell me that you need privacy in the bathroom. I still wipe your butt, and you still pee in the grass in front of anyone who will watch. I will grant you no such privacy... not yet at least.
4. Curious children. You are all wrong about what's going on with my gut.
- No, I did not just "get fat over the summer". (10 kids asked that)
- No, I wasn't "just pregnant like last year". (1 kid)
- No, it's not weird that "[I] already got a baby, and now [I] get to get another one". (1 boy)
- Finally, no, I did not eat a baby. (1 kid... 1 kid that will have a rude awakening when he figures out how babies actually get there.)
I think that's all for now, but I am sure that many more people will need my correcting soon enough.
:)
Anne
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